This is a beautiful thread I must say. Great idea to make it tehspocinater, I will diffidently find myself here quite a bit for a while at least. And now part of me is wanting to spill guts on crap happening right now but I'm gonna hold back for right now since I can still somewhat handle it, though if things do get very bad I will keep this thread in mind. Again this is a wonderful idea OP, lovely thread.
Thank you! I hope that you feel at home here and if you ever need to spill about anything just feel free to do so on this thread. Me and several others will try and help with whatever is bothering ya!
Not sure if this really applies to this thread since it's more of just needing to let something off of my chest that in comparison to problems I could be having feels minor compared to them but not minor at the moment if that makes sense?
Been meaning to move for a while now but the people cleaning up the room for me so it's livable have been putting it off and putting it off since around Easter, I have to be moved in before this coming Thursday and they still aren't done or even close to done, it is not a big room either. I saw the room myself last weekend and it is just disgusting so knowing that they just started on it today (allegedly) is really disheartening and frustrating. Now this might just be because I'm a cynical person but I don't believe they'll be done by the time I get there I think I'll be screwed out of a remotely clean living space, if it wasn't for the fact I was starting my new job next week I wouldn't be as upset about this as I currently am.
Not sure if this really applies to this thread since it's more of just needing to let something off of my chest that in comparison to problems I could be having feels minor compared to them but not minor at the moment if that makes sense?
Been meaning to move for a while now but the people cleaning up the room for me so it's livable have been putting it off and putting it off since around Easter, I have to be moved in before this coming Thursday and they still aren't done or even close to done, it is not a big room either. I saw the room myself last weekend and it is just disgusting so knowing that they just started on it today (allegedly) is really disheartening and frustrating. Now this might just be because I'm a cynical person but I don't believe they'll be done by the time I get there I think I'll be screwed out of a remotely clean living space, if it wasn't for the fact I was starting my new job next week I wouldn't be as upset about this as I currently am.
I think this thread is applied simply to let anything off your chest and be heard. I know that some people came in here to get off their chest that of which may make us feel like our problems and how we feel are insignificant. I want you to know that and remember that each person has their own form of suffering, bad days, good days, and the list goes on. Don't be afraid to ever let stuff out. The people here so far I can tell are amazing. I'm a bit naive, but I'd rather give anyone I can the benefit of a doubt and try to understand them from their perspective.
I hope the room situation gets figured out though and good luck at starting your new job! Remember when you move in to take pictures of everything and save them for the future in case this comes back to bite you instead of them. Sorry to hear you're going through this level of inconvenience!
I feel ya there! I have horrible insomnia and hate my job yet cant find anything else and no matter what I do I feel like I cant get enough sleep so I know what thats like. I wish I could say theres a cure for what you are going through becase most of the time constant tiredness and achy while getting propersleep usually means you have depression. That was what I was diganosed with anyway. But I find it helpsif I can vent wheter it be online or with someone I now, might not fic the problem but it always makes me feel better anyway.
Post by ♛ justanothertale ♛ on Oct 12, 2016 1:49:49 GMT
I swear my dad is the main factor in my stress right now. It's frustrating how he never listens to a single word anyone is saying. No, he only hears what he wants to hear. Honestly, I'm tempted to fill up my schedule with more hours of classes at this point just to avoid any other interactions with him. He doesn't listen at all, and it's so aggravating. Ugh- I'm sorry, I just needed to vent a bit.
I enjoy coming to this site, as well as a few other RP sites. I guess my question for advice is enjoying the site while managing depression. I've had issues with depression since I was 13, and two suicide attempts. I genuinely do love this place, but I feel like I can never talk. I don't I can't talk here, I mean in general. My posts rarely go well, with my ads getting little views. If I post a comment meant as a joke at best people don't get it. At worst...I've had people tell me I'm stupid, and to kill myself, or variations of it. I try my best to not let things bother me, and usually I'll respond with something like how killing myself felt like too much work, as a way to make it into a joke. It does hurt inside though. So yeah it's a dual problem. Half of me loves being a roleplayer, the other half of me feels like I don't fit in, and I'm getting exasperated at being "the moron" that everyone seems to think I am. Anyone else feel this?
Post by waywardgravity on Dec 10, 2016 7:36:51 GMT
I don't usually vent publicly about things that are bothering me, but I really need to right now.
My boyfriend's driving me crazy. We're in a long-distance relationship, though I've known him for years. The thing is, he keeps bugging me about going there for Spring Break. There are many problems with this: 1. Despite that I'm 22, my parents would never let me travel to see a guy that they don't personally know. 2. He's already proven that he'd likely be pressuring me into stuff that I don't want to do. He literally said that he was expecting for us to be able to sleep together and to have sex and, the thing is, that's not what I want. I even told him that I don't plan on ever having sex until I'm married and his response was: Well, you might change your mind. 3. I don't want to be around him alone. I don't know why, but I'm seriously terrified of being alone with him. I guess it could apply to my #2, but it could also apply to the fact that he's really intimidatingly tall (I'm 5'2, he's an entire foot taller.)
Moreover, I just... Can't talk to him. Every time I try to bring up something that's stressing me out or that's bothering me, he makes it about himself. Tonight, he again asked about Spring Break and I told him I don't know because I'm stressed about my cousin being in jail. (It's not a lie. My cousin is in jail in an entirely different state and his brothers and father won't do anything to help him, so it all weighs on my immediate family.) I brought all of this up and he barely responds about it before he says that he cut his finger a few days ago. I just don't see why something so important has to be overshadowed by a simple injury. Why does something that's troubling me have to get completely ignored in favor of talking about an injury? And, this isn't the first time something like this has ever happened. It happens all the time.
I think I'll stop venting there, just because I can't imagine what else I can possibly say without breaking down or throwing myself into a hole of concern.
Post by Dazed and Very Confused on Dec 12, 2016 13:55:59 GMT
I never normally like to rant or put myself out there where other people can hear my problems. I don't really go out to a lot of people either, only occasionally a friend or two. But this is something that is currently eating at me and I have nowhere else to really go to for once.
Part of me is really hesitant to actually post this because, although none of you know me, I'm sure a few of you will think some very nasty things about me. So if you don't get to the end of this post without thinking negatively about me, I really won't judge.
Altogether, I have been with my boyfriend for almost half of my life. We started dating young and our seventh anniversary is coming up. I love him so much, guys, I really do.
Our first four years together were okay. They weren't that great, I'll be honest. We got along fine and didn't fight much, but he'd never talk to me unless it was about his car, and 99% of the time, he was on his phone. We had never been on a date; any time we went out to eat, I paid for our food and we only ever went to fast food places. At the time, he had no potential for his future. He wasn't working, wasn't looking for a job, and was living with me at my mom's house, where he'd stay holed up in the attic (my old room, his room at the time) and wouldn't really talk to anyone.
I'd finally had enough and gave him the ultimatum that somethings needed to change. I'd always threatened it, but something about it was serious this time. He took me on a "date," which I thought was cute at the time. He made a picnic for us at the park and brought Subway and a plastic rose. We had a great time. But the truth came out a day later... he couldn't stop being cheap for five minutes and split the bill 50/50 with my best friend. I was furious. We had a big fight and broke up.
I hadn't really realized, but I'd started developing feelings for a close friend. The breakup really added fuel to the fire, as I needed someone to talk to and he just so happened to be there. We got closer and closer as time wore on. Of course, my at-the-time ex-boyfriend was still in the picture, but not as close as we had been. This crush I had wound up getting a girlfriend (hint: it wasn't me). That was fine, and we maintained our friendship - which I was fine with - until one day, I was the only one putting forth an effort, and I just kind of gave up.
Boyfriend and I got back together officially a few months later and things have been great!! We moved out together and are super happy!!
Here's the issue though. I've always been open and upfront with my boyfriend about things. I've never put a password on my phone and have never cheated on him. We've been very open and trusting with one another. But this crush I had messaged me sometime last night while I was sick and asleep. Sometimes when my phone goes off that late, my boyfriend will check it when he wakes up and then leave for work without actually opening it, just so I can see the message. He didn't do it this morning, or I'd be in for a shitstorm, I'm sure.
On one hand, I'd love to bring this friendship back to life if the opportunity was given to me. I've always been good at turning off my emotional attachments and replacing them with other feelings (like cutting off the feeling of love/lust and replacing it with simple friendliness). I know, if our friendship was to revive, it would inevitably cause a rift between my boyfriend and I. I'm so conflicted, guys.
My "sister" (best friend for as long as I've been alive) and I are both going through the same thing with different guys. She has worded the way she feels as "nauseated, with a mix of infatuation and confusion." I've never heard of anything more accurate.
I just wanted to get that off of my chest. Sorry for wall of text.
TL;DR My boyfriend is probably going to think - even though I feel like - I'm a whore for talking to an old friend.
Post by roleplayergirl18 on Dec 29, 2016 0:36:11 GMT
My cat was killed at 4 am on the 26th by two pitbulls who broke the fence of my sisters backyard to get to him. We had him for 14 years, loved him for 14 years. I never thought he would go this way. He didnt deserve to go this way. People keep telling me i should be happy it wasnt my almost two year old nephew but im just still so upset. Sure i was allergic but hes been a huge part of my life. Every morning i would look for him to feed him and know he would keep me safe, and when i came home he was always there to greet me. He was my only true friend when i was little. Now.... i dont know what to do. I feel angry at the dogs and owners. Especially since the owners lied that their dogs got out that morning.
Post by Need To Get This Off My Chest on Jan 5, 2017 19:23:26 GMT
I usually don’t talk about my problems because in the past I’ve been told that they don’t matter, but I really wanted to get this off my chest. 2016 was a pretty hard year for me (as it was for everyone else, I’m sure). At first the started out great. I was doing well during my first year of college, I had made some great friends and I stayed friends with some of the people I went to highschool with, including my best friend for 7 years (who stayed local for college so she didn’t dorm - let’s call her Girl A). I also got close again to a girl who I had been friends with when I was in high school (Let’s call her Girl B). She told me about a guy she worked with who had thought I was cute and wanted to hang out. So we started dating and we really meshed with. He was nice, and fun and things were going okay. The only issue was he was hung up on his ex girlfriend, who had moved away and cheated on him. I went to college in another state and he had dropped out of community college (Let’s call him G). We decided to just be friends and we stayed pretty close.
Second semester was when things started to get rough. My roommate, who had been one of my best friends, suddenly turned into one of my worst enemies. She tried convincing everyone I had forced her to drink (Which was not true, I was always the sober one whenever my friends dragged me to a party), she would leave slices of pizza and half filled cartons of chinese food on the floor for weeks. She even started getting weird about me being bisexual, saying that she ‘couldn’t live with a lesbian’, so I went back into the closet to make things easier. I had cut ties with this one guy I was friends with because he would constantly belittle my ideas and opinions and try and make me feel stupid, and he started sending his friends to knock on my door at all hours of the night DEMANDING I apologize to him. He even started to videotape me at one of the dining one night and when I tried to confront him about it, he called me childish and ran away like a baby. His friend came up to me the next day and called me a ‘psycho bitch’.
My best friend for 7 years was getting evicted from her home because of a stupid string of mistakes her dad made (he had lost his job so he stopped paying alimony to his ex wife, who then sued him. The Judge had said if he had gone to court when he first lost his job he wouldn’t owe a cent, but he didn’t so he owed his ex a lot of money). Girl A moved into my home with my family. Because I spent many weekends at college, she got close with Girl B and they started leaving me out. In the past Girl B had grown close with another one of my best friends in the past and they started ignoring me, and I was afraid that was going to happen again. I thought once I got home for the summer everything would get better, but it just got worse. Girl A was constantly making a mess at my house and my mom would ask her nicely to clean up after herself, but she always said she would do it ‘later’.
All of us were working together, but Girl A and Girl B had a second job together as well so they were practically inseparable. There was one day when I had gotten into a huge fight with my dad and I really needed my best friend, but she was too busy with Girl B (not working, just fooling around). It really hurt me that I was losing my best friend, and every time I tried to talk about it she would say she was trying to get better but she needed time. We would try to make plans but she was always ‘busy’, but she would coordinate days off so she could hang out with Girl B.
It all blew up halfway through the summer when Girl A had had a day off and my mom asked her to clean her room because there were boxes everywhere and she would leave food there, even though my mom doesn’t like us eating upstairs. She had said she would, and then she went to the beach with Girl B. At that point I was so mad at the disrespect she had shown my family that I told her to leave. I was sick of trying to fight to keep her as a best friend when she clearly just wanted to be friends with Girl B. On top of that, the guy that I had dated and used to be so nice to me, had started to turn too. He would say things like that I was ugly, and that Girl B was way hotter than me (meanwhile neither of us had asked what he thought). I’m already really insecure, and I think that anyway, but to hear him say that hurt me. He would also go around saying that people use anxiety as an excuse - I have Severe Panic Disorder and I always have panic attacks in private because I’m afraid to tell people about it in fear of them reacting the same way he did.
The rest of the summer really sucked for me, I worked all summer with almost no days off (the managers were bad at scheduling so they would schedule people for days they couln’t work so I would take their shifts. There was also a couple times when someone would get injured, I would finish their shift for them because no one else would. A lot of times I would work from 7am-2am with one half hour break). When I did have a day off I would stay in my home and cry. It didn’t help that Girl A and Girl B were constantly posting the fun things they were doing on their coordinated days off, like hookah, the beach, ect. There was a constant knot in my stomach for about 4 straight months. My cousin had promised to come skydiving with me, and then she booked a vacation for the day we were supposed to go - she didn’t even tell me to my face. She posted it on instagram and that’s how I found out. When I would try and talk about it, my mom would tell me that she ‘had her reasons’ and ‘needed a vacation’. I have a wonderful mother, but when it comes to my cousin, she has blinders on. My cousin can do no wrong.
Things got a little better when I moved back into college in August, I was able to see my friends who lived far away. I had classes to keep myself busy with. The first time I returned home Girl B asked if I wanted to hang out. I said sure, she had just broke up with her boyfriend of four years and was spending a lot of time with G. I asked if they were together and she had said no (which I thought was odd considering she was constantly posting naked pictures of the two of them on snapchat but I wanted to give her the chance to tell me herself). When we went the place where she worked, one of the coworkers asked how she and G were doing. I turned to her and said ‘I thought you said you weren’t together’. She said ‘I thought it was pretty obvious’. It was obvious, but when I asked her five minutes before, she had said no. I wasn’t upset they were together, I was upset because she had hid it from me.
That was the last time I made plans with Girl B. I still see all of them posting stuff together and it makes me kind of sad. I found out that Girl A dropped out of college - so none of them go to school (all by choice) and they all work at the same job that pays minimum wage.
When winter break started, another girl I went to highschool with invited me to hang out on New Year's Eve, when I said it sounded like fun, she texted back that ‘something had come up’. On New Year's, her and a bunch of my other friends were hanging out with Girl A - which probably meant I was uninvited because of Girl A. That really hurt me.
Anyway, I don’t know what I’m hoping to get out of posting this - but I hope that 2017 is better year for everyone. Sorry this is so long and doesn’t make much sense. I know a lot of it seems trivial, but it all came crashing down at once.
So, I'm frustrated, scared and a little hysterical. I've lived with my emotionally abusive dad for the past year or so of my life. He moved back in to help out with rent, because my mom has some health problems and couldn't work. Today, I asked him to take the garbage out on his way to work - and instead of getting mad at me, he started screaming at my mom, telling her that he was going to have a bad day at work because she was a horrible person and a shitty wife. I managed to ignore this for about a minute, before I yelled at him to go out drinking instead of going to work like he always did. He yelled at me to shut the fuck up, but I didn't, and my mom was telling me to go back to my room so he could cool down, but I shook them both off and yelled 'no.' And then I kept yelling, and I told him that I was tired of his shit, and that he couldn't go around treating everybody like shit because he felt bad about himself and that it wasn't okay. He told me he was happy, because he knew a shitty person like me was going to burn in hell, or something to that affect.
And then I was basically told to get out of the house. He pays the rent, so I don't have a lot of choice in the matter. I have until Friday. I have a place to crash after that, as my Grandmother has kindly agreed to take me in and my mom is telling me that I don't have to go, but I don't think she'll really stand up to my dad. She never has before. Not because she doesn't love me, but because she's just not strong enough. And I'm too exhausted to keep fighting this. Maybe she will, maybe she won't, but I have to assume the worst. Because I'm not going to beg to stay in my own house. I won't do it.
Has anybody else been in a similar situation? Could really use some advise about finding roommates. Affordable places to live. Stuff like that?
So, I'm frustrated, scared and a little hysterical. I've lived with my emotionally abusive dad for the past year or so of my life. He moved back in to help out with rent, because my mom has some health problems and couldn't work. Today, I asked him to take the garbage out on his way to work - and instead of getting mad at me, he started screaming at my mom, telling her that he was going to have a bad day at work because she was a horrible person and a shitty wife. I managed to ignore this for about a minute, before I yelled at him to go out drinking instead of going to work like he always did. He yelled at me to shut the fuck up, but I didn't, and my mom was telling me to go back to my room so he could cool down, but I shook them both off and yelled 'no.' And then I kept yelling, and I told him that I was tired of his shit, and that he couldn't go around treating everybody like shit because he felt bad about himself and that it wasn't okay. He told me he was happy, because he knew a shitty person like me was going to burn in hell, or something to that affect.
And then I was basically told to get out of the house. He pays the rent, so I don't have a lot of choice in the matter. I have until Friday. I have a place to crash after that, as my Grandmother has kindly agreed to take me in and my mom is telling me that I don't have to go, but I don't think she'll really stand up to my dad. She never has before. Not because she doesn't love me, but because she's just not strong enough. And I'm too exhausted to keep fighting this. Maybe she will, maybe she won't, but I have to assume the worst. Because I'm not going to beg to stay in my own house. I won't do it.
Has anybody else been in a similar situation? Could really use some advise about finding roommates. Affordable places to live. Stuff like that?
Hello, Help.
Let me start off by saying that I'm very sorry for your situation. It's not right, and no one deserves to ever be put in such a scenario. I think you're very brave for standing up for yourself, and I applaud you for such.
My advice and suggestions may be a bit scattered, as it's been ages since I've dealt with my abuser, so I apologize in advance.
Firstly, please try to get your mother out of the situation. I understand she may not want to, but it is not safe. If family is unable to take the two of you in, please have her look into an emergency women's shelter. It's not an ideal option, but it's a free option and it gets her out of the abusive environment. I would also urge either you or her to make a call to the National Domestic Violence Hotline; it's 24/7 support and completely confidential. Here is the website. (I apologize if you're not in the United States. I can offer resources for other countries as well.)
Secondly, my advice regarding roommates and affordable places to live would be to immediately start looking. I don't know about you, but I live in a very small town, so it's usually hit or miss with renting. Most apartments and houses that are available have "FOR RENT" signs out front, so I would start making trips around to see what's available. If you can't find anything, that doesn't mean there's nothing available. Try your local newspaper or Craigslist. I recommend Craigslist, as that's what helped me find my first (provided crappy) apartment. I would also Google "for rent near [X TOWN]"; usually you'll find something.
As far as finding roommates, my advice is kind of, again, 50/50. I'd first recommend trying to find a place you can afford by yourself. However, if not possible, try checking with any friends or acquaintances. Someone may also be looking and may not have an idea on where to start. I would try to secure a possible roommate before apartment/house hunting simply because they can add input on the place you choose and will likely be helping with bills.
The only downside to renting with friends is the obvious: they're your friends. I've lived with three different friends, and, let me tell you, none of those situations worked out. My first roommate was my lifetime best friend and, when she moved out, we didn't speak for six months. My second and third roommates (a couple who roomed with my boyfriend and me) didn't work out either; there were a lot of issues and I didn't speak to one of them for four months.
Rooming with friends is difficult, but, if you can make it work, more power to you. It at least gets you out and somewhat secure. I wouldn't recommend it long-term, but I'd try it. If you can't find someone you know well, try, again, searching on Craigslist or advertise on Facebook/social media. I'm not one to normally advertise CL, but I've heard positive things. Advertising on social media tends to get the word out and it always seems that someone knows someone who's looking for a place to rent or is also looking for a potential roommate. You can always meet up with them and, if not clicking, no harm, no foul.
I really don't have much advice, but I do wish you the best of luck in your endeavors. If you ever need someone to talk to - anonymously or not - I'm always available.