Post by I'm Just Venting on Jul 13, 2018 2:36:57 GMT
I was thinking a lot lately. I seem to have so much trouble keeping RP partners these days, and a lot of that is on me.
When I first started roleplaying I was in a bad spot in my life. My mom straight up ditched me, leaving me to live with my alcholic father, on top of every friend IRL I had leaving me, until I had none left, and RP was just a way to fill the void in. Back then I had good friendships that lasted for a long time, but as stress began to pile up, I started becoming someone that the old me would be ashamed, and angry to know they've turned into.
Well I do want to be better, but the problem is life keeps throwing curve balls.
A little bit ago I finally made a real life friend, after like 10 years of lonliness. We hung out around 4-5 times...and now they won't even answer my damn emails!
I currently live with my mom, and stepdad, and emotionally-abusive-prick doesn't even begin to describe this guy. He acts like an entitled 5-8 year old. A total know-it-all, who constantly puts everyone down, crticizes people over understandable mistakes, overreacts to small problems by being pointlessly confrontational like he's trying to egg people into getting into a fight. That's just this guy summed up. And I know others have it a lot worse than I do, but I'm ranting about ME right now, and this guy is the biggest source of stress in my life.
I'd love to get the fuck out. Oh but what's this? I've applied literally everywhere in my town, and I'm still not getting hired? Well riddle me full of holes, and call me Spongebob!
I really would like to be a better person, but until my life improves either via getting a good job, and moving out... or my stepdad dying it's probably not going to happen.