OC history change for partner?

[Change]

If anyone answers this. Would you be willing to change a piece of your OC's history for your partner if something about your history really upset them, and it wasn't important to your character anyway?

Keep in mind I said it wasn't important.

As in the abuse your OC suffered is not relevant to their personality, their growth, the RP itself etc.

Obviously if it is important that's different so I'll use two examples.

Jennifer was abused by her father and in the present is deeply afraid of men, and has to earnestly work past seeing all men as the monster her father was, and eventually confront him to finally overcome her fear so that instead of looking at him with terror she looks at him with pity. This is an example of where the abuse makes sense and contributes to the story.

Victoria was also abused by her father...and it never comes up. She's totally fine around guys, and doesn't even hold a grudge over how her dad treated her. This is an example of where I have to ask if your partner was throwing a fit would you just change it?

[⚜️🅛🅨🅓🅘🅐⚜️]

I wouldn't change my character regardless of what was in the history. People work hard on making their characters and writing their back stories. If someone doesn't like it then I won't roleplay with them. There are plenty of other people that I could roleplay with.

I completely understand if things are triggering to people, but I'm the type of person that likes a lot of dark drama in my roleplays and if people can't handle it then they're just not my type of roleplay partners.

[Response to Change]

I think it is important to let your potential partner's know about any triggers or limits you have. Whether it be in through the first few emails or in the ad you put out, but before you exchange OC's. That is part of finding out if you are a good match to roleplay with. If your limits do not match up with your partner, that does not mean either of you are wrong - just that you are not a good fit, and that is fine. Person A could want a really dark story with a ton of angst, and Person B could love soft, light stories that follow closer to the plot of a rom-com. Neither of them is wrong for what they like to write, but they might not match up.

Personally, I would never change my character's backstory for a partner because I have put a lot of time, effort, and thought into my character. I also think it is important to note, in real life, trauma shows in various different ways. Not everyone who is abused by their father will be terrified of all men. In fact, most do not react that way. Everyone processes trauma differently, and they are all valid. So, just because an Oc does not fit into the mold of the 'perfect victim' does not mean that the backstory is not important.

[Change]

I'm the one who was asked to change my OC, not the other way around. I said no, though it was more about me being stubborn and wanting to play my OC. I deliberately wrote this post at the time trying to see it from their point of view. I have not yet asked anyone to change their OC for me. I probably won't in the future either.